I just wanted to tell you about my exciting day yesterday (I actually want to tell everyone, everywhere because I am so excited).
First, a little history…. In 1960, years before I was born, my mother was a scared, single, twenty year old Irish woman, who was pregnant. Her family sent her off to England to a maternity home, where she gave birth that September to a boy whom she called David. She stayed with him for six weeks or so, until he was turned over to his adoptive parents.
My Mom went on to marry and have three more children, and moved the family to Canada. In the late 1990’s, she told me about David. I hugged her and told her how proud I was of her! She had decided to contact the adoption register to try and find her son, hoping that he had also made contact and that they would be “matched”. She had always worried about him, even in her knowledge that she had made the right decision for him.
As it turned out, Mom lost her nerve and couldn’t make the contact. She never even managed to share her news with my sister and brother. Mom passed away on August 21, 2007, which was also her 67th birthday. After the initial shock of her death wore off, my Dad gave me the photos of David that Mom had carried with her til the day she died, and also the forms she had filled in (but never sent) to make contact. I shared the information with my sister and brother, and it was agreed that I would eventually apply to the British Adoption Registry and start the search.
Surprisingly, it took me a while to get up the nerve! I was afraid he might be dead, or maybe autistic (as my son is), or a hundred other things that would make the reunion impossible. I did send the info in, and was notified that “David” had not applied at that end, so no match was made.
About two years ago, “David” did apply, and I received a letter that had me in tears from the moment I started to read. He was well, had a wife and daughter, was prosperous and had enjoyed a lovely childhood with caring parents and an adopted sister! He also took the time to tell me that he understood why Mom did what she did, as times were different then, and that she had done him no harm. He had also found out that Mom had passed away, and saved me the sadness of having to relay that information to him. He offered the chance of corresponding, but kindly said that he would understand if I chose not to, realizing that not all family members might know of his existence, or want to know about him now.
We have emailed and sent photos back and forth, and yesterday I had the absolute pleasure of meeting John “David” (his adoptive parents honoured Mom by giving him David as a middle name!) when he brought his beautiful wife and adorable daughter to Canada to meet our family. While I am saddened that Mom never got this chance, I know she knows all about it now as she watches us.
This has been one of the most exciting weeks of my life as I welcomed my brother as the family he is. What a brilliant ending to the journey Mom started 53 years ago, and how different it could have been if abortion were readily available and advocated for back then.