This satire is bleak, but also very funny in places, as here:
Pausing momentarily to take a drink of water, Benedict went on to stress that certain religious doctrines no longer apply in today’s world, and that, perhaps, they ought to be weighed against more modern considerations, such as making a problem go away.
Other important factors outlined by Benedict included length of pregnancy, the possibility of health complications, and whether or not two people just met one crazy night, got a little carried away, and made the biggest mistake of both their lives.
“All women, particularly those by the name of Sheila, deserve the right to choose,” Benedict said. “And if they choose wrongly—if they choose to keep the child, even though that does not make any sense, and might very well ruin someone’s career—then maybe they should just leave the country and never come back.”
The Holy Father then called for a moment of silence while he tried to “figure some stuff out.”
At very least, our Anglican “minister” friend deserves this. If The Onion gets it, why doesn’t she?